Pamper Yourself In An Unlikely Way

Oftentimes when we hear the word “pamper” or “treat yourself” we are automatically tossed into a luxury hotel suite, soaking in a claw food tub and snacking on macarons with a glass of wine in hand. It’s often something of a quick escape, a way to momentarily forget about what ails you and insead enjoy a moment of peaceful relaxation.

Well I’m here to challenge that thinking. What if, instead of chocolate cake and face masks, the way to relax was in doing the hard work? That the way to pamper yourself isn’t a few minutes (or hours) of forgetting your life, but remembering exactly what you want it to look like? Deciding to carefully craft the type of life you want to lead, instead of trying to get away from the one you have?

Let’s think of it in terms of baking ingredients. Doing things like facials, taking a bath, or shopping is like butter, flour or eggs. Good enough on their own, sure. But it’s when you make it more complicated- growing a business, advancing a skill, or training for a marathon- that’s how you go from butter, flour and eggs to cookies. It’s through these more complex forms of self care and pampering that you create a true reward for yourself. It’s not always about what’s easy or even what’s relaxing. It’s about what sustains your life. Mixing relaxing with hard work that you do for yourself. A balanced diet, if you will.

How do you do it? You just gotta change the narrative. Folding clothes sucks. But having a neat closet and an easy time getting ready in the morning feels indulgent. It feels like shopping without spending a dime. Maybe you dress better or wear those earrings because now you can actually see them.

Sure, taking a relaxing bath now and again is nice. And sure, folding clothes every day sucks. But it’s all about mixing it up and balance. Listen to that inspirational podcast while you take your bath. Jam out to music while you fold your clothes. Don’t let being lazy with half-assed “I deserve this break” derail you from the things you want in life. A break is fine and needed and should be enjoyed! But putting a break and the easy thing over everything else is sometimes the worst type of self-care you can do. It’s self sabotage.

There are always exceptions to the rule. In 2018 I was pregnant and exhausted. I did FAR less work on the blog. And now in 2019 with a baby I’m taking it slow. But I didn’t give up. It’s not about working until you’re totally burnt out or stressed. It’s about taking small steps towards what you want in life. It’s never giving up. It’s finding a way to prioritize yourself and your goals however possible, even when it’s easier to flop yourself on the couch or make yourself busy with menial tasks like the dishes.

It’s about balancing those necessary types of self care (like dressing nice or doing your hair) with the mundane tasks that make your life work in a practical manner (like folding laundry, or doing it to begin with) and combining it with long term goals (like learning piano or growing a business) to create a life that truly feels fulfilling. It’s about not getting so bogged down with the everyday “urgencies” that you end up putting aside the goals and dreams you really want to achieve. We’ll always be busy. It’s about making time for what’s most important to you.

Self love and treating yourself can be eating an extra cupcake, or doing your hair, or re-decorating your home. There’s no one way to do it and by flopping on the couch with Netflix every day, you’re relaxing in a way that isn’t moving you forward. By all means, watch your tv shows. But do what you love too. Don’t be too scared or too busy or too tired to go for your dreams. Work towards them and you’ll see how amazing and fulfilling your life will become.

Wedding Planning Update- Just 4 More Months!

As time creeps by ever so quickly, we now have only 4 months until the wedding! I've started to get really excited and really, really panicked. I feel like there's so much that needs to get done and I'm so worried it'll be left until the last minute. The last thing I want is to be left scrambling! It felt like we didn't do very much this month, but typing it out made me realize how much we actually did. It goes to show how much planning is involved in a large scale event! 

Wedding Mood Board- I created a mood board for the wedding, since my Pinterest board seemed to be all over the place. No one has really done the theme that I am doing in the color scheme that I want to use, so it's been nearly impossible to narrow down the look based on other people's photos. I took a few hours to look at what I wanted specifically, and created a mood board on Canva using one of their templates and this video. It was really helpful to narrow down my style! 

Went shopping for my mom and sister's dresses- we checked out Macy's, Nordstrom, and Estelle's Dressy Dresses this month. My mom found a nice dress at Macy's but she's not entirely sure about it, so next week we are going to the store where I bought my wedding dress to see more options. They have a huge bridesmaid and mother of the bride section there, so here's to hoping we can cross that off our list. 

Thinking about favors and escort cards- John and I started thinking about how we want to do our escort cards and what to give out as favors, and we started looking into what to order online. We also wanted to give out some fun swag to our guests, so we looked into that as well. I'm hoping we can order that stuff this month and get it out of the way! 

Invitations- we are behind on ordering invites, but we are trying to get this done! Either my sister is going to create them for us or we are going to get some pre-made ones from those giant catalogues. 

Related: Disney Themed Backyard Engagement Party

We booked our honeymoon! We are going to Disney World for about a week and I'm so excited. We are staying on the Disney property for the very first time, at the Disney Swan Resort. I got a little over eager though, and booked my plane ticket as my married name. I figured I could change it easily even without us being married and I think I was wrong about that. Whoops. That's what I get for using Friends as a tool of reference. So I need to get that sorted out. 

Extending the reception- Since our reception ends at 10pm, I decided we should probably extend it by an hour. 10pm seems way too early, and since our resort is in the middle of nowhere, it's not like we can go to a bar. I mean, there's one on the property but it's pretty far from where our rooms will be. So I think extending is worth the money. 

We attended a wedding- I know that sounds a little weird, but attending another wedding really helped us understand what we wanted for ours. The wedding we went to was beautiful, upscale, and formal. The ceremony was religious, and it seemed like they spared no expense to make it a great evening. It was probably the opposite of what our wedding would be, and it was only by attending the wedding that we realized that. I have had my worries that our venue isn't formal enough, but it's really cozy. We hope people will have fun and be comfortable. Our ceremony won't be about how God sees our marriage, but about how we see it. Neither way is right or wrong, they're just different. And seeing a very different wedding helped us to see what we wanted for ours. 

To do this month:

Order any personalized favor items- to avoid the scramble, I want to purchase any personalized items this month. This way, in case we don't like them or they have a flaw, typo, etc., we can fix them without any issues.

Order invitations- For obvious reasons, this is at the top of my to-do list! Our wedding is on a holiday weekend, and although everyone knows the date and I sent out a Facebook message to everyone with details and the wedding website link, I want to get these out ASAP.

Dresses and suits- I want to order/purchase my mom and sister's dresses, and buy/rent John and his brother's suits.

My accessories and undergarments- I'm trying to decide what type of accessories I want to wear so that I can order them. Then, I need to find the right undergarments! I don't want anything peeking through or showing on my wedding day. 

Schedule a hair and makeup trial- The summer is so busy at my venue, and already getting a hotel room with my friends on the property will be almost $600 for a night- discounted rate! So, I'm going to see if there's a cheaper hotel nearby that we can stay in.

Finalize cake design- Not a major item on my to-do list for the month, but I'd really like to narrow down the cake design. We aren't too picky about the style, so it's been hard to make a decision.

I feel like a lot of brides have a vision of what their wedding is going to be, so when it comes time to make decisions, they are trying to find something like what's in their head. I don't have this vision! I have an overall idea, but none of the details have been planned out. So, I'm kinda looking at #allthethings and trying to narrow it down. It makes the process take that much longer. I feel like John is (finally) starting to get a voice when it comes to wedding decisions, so having his input is really helpful. I'm terrible at making decisions and always second guess myself, so hearing his opinion really helps me to narrow things down and make a (somewhat swift) decision.

If you want to learn more about planning a Pinterest worthy party, be sure to sign up to get your FREE Anatomy of a Pinterest Worthy Party guide! It's full of helpful hints on how to pick a theme, the little details that will make your event unique, and tips to take great photos of your event. And, there's even a checklist so you don't forget anything! So what are you waiting for? Get yours now!

So, did you have a vision for your wedding? Were you Monica Geller, whipping out your wedding planning binder? Or are you more like me, going with the flow? Did you think planning your wedding when you weren't engaged was crazy? Do you think it's crazy NOT to have an idea going in? Let me know in the comments!

How to Plan an Awesome Party- in 10 Easy Steps!

This is part one of my party planning series. Be sure out part 2 and part 3! 

I LOVE throwing parties. Among my friends, I'm known as the party planner. Anytime someone mentions having a party, I always get super excited, ask a million questions, and offer to help if they need it. Throwing a great party doesn't have to be stressful. It can be super fun if you plan ahead and follow these 10 easy steps!

1. Decide on a theme. I absolutely love theme parties. It's much easier to have a cohesive look when you've got something tying it all together. Plus, guests love them! Do some brainstorming and pick a theme that matches the event, person, or holiday you're celebrating. If you prefer to keep it simple, pick a color scheme and follow that when purchasing your supplies.

2. Create a Pinterest Board. I like to create a separate board for each of my parties. This allows me to pin everything in one place and makes it easy to reference. I pin recipes, decor, drinks and inspiration. I also include any how-to's for items I plan to make and items I want to buy. This makes it really easy when I'm ready to sit down and order everything!    

3. Pick a Date. Grab a calendar and pick a date, preferably one at least 2-3 weeks in advance. This will give you enough time to plan while giving your guests ample notice to coordinate their schedules to attend. Once you've settled on a date, plan out the steps for your party and create deadlines for each step, especially any DIY projects.

4. Create a budget. Before going wild buying stuff, think about how much you want to spend. If you notice your shopping cart total is higher than your budget, re-evaluate. Is there anything you can omit? Does a friend have something you can borrow? Can you make it a potluck or BYOB party?

5. Plan your menu. Create a list of all the items you want to make, how long it will take, and if you can prepare anything in advance. This is a good time to create a shopping list and check your cabinets to make sure you have everything you'll need. I also like to get some frozen hors d'ouvers from BJ's or Costco and pre-made dips and salsas. This way if I get held back a bit, people still have something to munch on.

6. Plan out the DIY projects. Don't leave DIY projects for the last minute. Please oh please take my advice on this one. Many times I have left these projects for the night before (or day of!) because I wanted my sister to come over earlier and help me. This is a terrible idea. As with many DIY projects, things take a lot longer than you anticipate. Sometimes the project is tedious as well, and you only end up making half as many as planned (or two...). Do these projects in advance and save the night before for cooking, cleaning and decorating.

7. Think of fun activities. It's a good idea to have a couple of activities planned. They can be simple, like playing a game or a having a contest, or more complex, like a bounce house or petting zoo. Either way, it's a good idea to have something for people to do and encourage conversation.

8. Call dibs. If you plan to borrow something from friends, like a table or a speaker, be sure to ask them ahead of time so they can make it available to you. I also recommend picking up the item a few days in advance rather than having them bring it to the party. If they forget it or come late, you'll be left scrambling! Be sure to return it back to them quickly and in the same condition you received it so they won't be reluctant to let you borrow anything again.

9. Make a playlist. In the weeks leading up to the event, create a playlist of songs. If you plan to use Pandora or a similar program, sign on and give the stations a listen. Use the thumbs up and thumbs down feature to fine-tune the selection and create an awesome party mix!

10. Create a checklist. Once you've done all of the above, write or type a quick checklist outlining everything. Include your shopping list, the DIY projects, and a rough outline of the schedule for the day of the event (including setup).  This will help to ensure you stay on schedule and organized!

If you’re looking for more inspo, be sure to follow my Party Inspiratio n Pinterest Board for TONS of fun party ideas!

Wedding Wednesdays- How to plan your wedding (once a week!) and save your marriage

Planning a wedding can be downright exhausting. Unlike any other party you've planned, this one seems to hold so much more significance! It seems like everyone has an opinion on what you should do, where you should go, and who you should invite. I've just started planning, and I feel like I've already hit a brick wall. My budget is way below market, I live in the most expensive place to get married (p.s. that's #1, 2 & 5 on the list!), and my fiance has a huge family that we need to invite. All of this is enough to cause anyone stress, including someone who plans parties regularly!

I recently had lunch with a friend/former coworker, and I was discussing (complaining) about how the stress of wedding planning is already causing my fiance and me to argue. In addition, since I love to plan parties and he does not, I feel like the entire burden falls on my shoulders. At this time, my friend made a genius suggestion- pick a day and make that "wedding discussion day". For me, that's Wedding Wednesdays. As soon as I heard it, I was intrigued, and it only gets better! She's one of the smartest people I know, and I'm so lucky to have her inspiring me.

My fiance and I are also having some disagreements about location and other details. This is where Wedding Wednesdays is perfect. Each Wednesday, you can discuss a specific topic or set of tasks that need completion. Then, you can decide what the next week's agenda will entail. This gives each party a fair one week to research their options. At the next meeting, couples share their findings and make decisions. If one person does not do their research by the deadline, then they are essentially not prepared for the meeting. At this point, the decision will likely sway in the favor of the person who did their homework.

To be fair, I think that an extension should be granted for certain topics, but overall it should allow for much smoother and quicker decision making. This method is also great if you have parents or bridesmaids that are helping. Instead of trying to coordinate schedules, there is one set day for everyone to get together and discuss.

Today, my fiance and I will have our very first Wedding Wednesday. I'll post an update next week with a recap of our meeting and some suggestions to get the most out of your first meeting! (Psst! Check it out here.)

Do you have any sneaky tips on how to be more efficient in your wedding planning? Let me know in the comments below!

Be sure to check out my colorful wedding ideas Pinterest board for some great wedding ideas!